Jesus, Mary and Joseph
That Father Francis is a dirty little fecker. I think. All I know is I woke up on Tuesday afternoon slumped over in the back pew, with my nun-like-but-not-official-uniform undernunwear all bunched up under my (fake) habit, inside out and back to front. I suppose I'll just have to keep an eye on the Parish Newsletter and see whether there's any more disciplinary action in the works. Surely they wouldn't have been so daft as to make another video.
Anyway apparently everyone just thought I was doing one of those nunny prayer fasting things, that's why they didn't disturb me. They thought the foamy mouth was just dehydration. And of course, the random rambling, they thought that was speaking in tongues. If I was speaking in tongues, why would I be speaking ABOUT tongues. *sigh* people, what are they like?
So of course I spent the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday at the chiropractor, getting my spine sorted after all that hunching, he was a bit handsy I think but of course never having tried it before, for all I know the fleshy bits might need as much massaging as the rest. The arse I could understand, it was pretty much totally flattened out from the wooden pew, but my little pert nun-boobies? They didn't even hurt, I don't know why they took so long to work out.
On Thursday I thought it was about time I did some laundry. I couldn't find a stream and a rock, that's how we did it back at the nunnery, but the man upstairs told me about the laundrette round the corner when he came down to drill the airholes in my bathroom ceiling, I never even knew that condensation could cause so much trouble if you didn't let it out. Anyway so I went round to the laundrette and it took me all day to get all my washing done. The guys down there told me about how you have to wash all your knickers together, then all your bras together, then all your petticoats together, and they were nice enough to watch them all go round and round while I looked in the paper for a job. And then they separated them all out and put them in the drier for me, and watched them again, and then they even folded everything all up for me, took them ages, they kept double-checking to make sure it was all clean enough.
On Friday I went to the supermarket, that wasn't easy. I had no idea what to buy, at the nunnery I never got the kitchen work, it was always just dumped in front of me in a bowl with a wooden spoon. I didn't recognise anything at all, other than potatoes and peas, so I got a few green things to experiment with... artichokes, basil, and courgettes. I got some mince, that looked quite familiar, and a loaf of bread, but it was all soft and bendy, I'm not used to that, I hope it gets better soon. I nearly fell over with laughing when I saw the drinks, I can't believe people pay for water. And wine, such little bottles, I'm used to it coming in barrels and being siphoned off as and when it's needed. I asked about it, some guy that was collecting trolleys said the best he could do was to bring a box round tomorrow night when his wife thinks he's on the night shift, I thought that was nice of him. Home delivery in this day and age. Chivalry isn't dead. I wasn't sure about him lying to his wife but he says she gets terribly jealous. And apparently the local wives have warned their husbands not to come near me. If she's going to be unreasonable about it, I don't see what I can do.
Yesterday was Saturday, I thought I'd try cooking the greens I'd bought. As it turns out, basil isn't much use on its own. You add it to other things. But not, I'm told, to artichokes and courgettes and mince. I didn't really get the best combination apparently. So the man from downstairs tells me. He came up to bring me my post and to check my drawers. He said he'd heard from the last girl in here that they were a bit sticky, especially the one I keep my underwear in. I don't know how he knew the last girl kept her underwear in the same drawer as I keep mine in, but that's the sticky one he said. Took him all day to sort it out, I hadn't even noticed it was clunky but he certainly seemed to hear it.
And so to Sunday. This morning I tried to go back to St Anthony's but that didn't go so well, I don't want to talk about it. All I will say is I think stoning was harsh in the middle ages, and it's harsh now. I've spent all day trying to atone myself. I self-flagellated and everything, but the neighbours complained about the noise, and the man upstairs said I was only allowed to do that in the bathroom, but there's no space, so I just had to give up trying. I'm starting to like TV though, but Eastenders was a bit stressful for me, I don' really understand what happened cos I don't know how it ended.
Now I have to go and see where Kings Cross is on the map, I have an interview there in the morning, from an ad I answered in the paper. I hope I get it, I have all the qualities they asked for. I do have a good sense of humour, I am young female, inexperienced, willing to try new things, and I don't mind working with several people at once. Wish me luck!
Peace be with you.
Anyway apparently everyone just thought I was doing one of those nunny prayer fasting things, that's why they didn't disturb me. They thought the foamy mouth was just dehydration. And of course, the random rambling, they thought that was speaking in tongues. If I was speaking in tongues, why would I be speaking ABOUT tongues. *sigh* people, what are they like?
So of course I spent the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday at the chiropractor, getting my spine sorted after all that hunching, he was a bit handsy I think but of course never having tried it before, for all I know the fleshy bits might need as much massaging as the rest. The arse I could understand, it was pretty much totally flattened out from the wooden pew, but my little pert nun-boobies? They didn't even hurt, I don't know why they took so long to work out.
On Thursday I thought it was about time I did some laundry. I couldn't find a stream and a rock, that's how we did it back at the nunnery, but the man upstairs told me about the laundrette round the corner when he came down to drill the airholes in my bathroom ceiling, I never even knew that condensation could cause so much trouble if you didn't let it out. Anyway so I went round to the laundrette and it took me all day to get all my washing done. The guys down there told me about how you have to wash all your knickers together, then all your bras together, then all your petticoats together, and they were nice enough to watch them all go round and round while I looked in the paper for a job. And then they separated them all out and put them in the drier for me, and watched them again, and then they even folded everything all up for me, took them ages, they kept double-checking to make sure it was all clean enough.
On Friday I went to the supermarket, that wasn't easy. I had no idea what to buy, at the nunnery I never got the kitchen work, it was always just dumped in front of me in a bowl with a wooden spoon. I didn't recognise anything at all, other than potatoes and peas, so I got a few green things to experiment with... artichokes, basil, and courgettes. I got some mince, that looked quite familiar, and a loaf of bread, but it was all soft and bendy, I'm not used to that, I hope it gets better soon. I nearly fell over with laughing when I saw the drinks, I can't believe people pay for water. And wine, such little bottles, I'm used to it coming in barrels and being siphoned off as and when it's needed. I asked about it, some guy that was collecting trolleys said the best he could do was to bring a box round tomorrow night when his wife thinks he's on the night shift, I thought that was nice of him. Home delivery in this day and age. Chivalry isn't dead. I wasn't sure about him lying to his wife but he says she gets terribly jealous. And apparently the local wives have warned their husbands not to come near me. If she's going to be unreasonable about it, I don't see what I can do.
Yesterday was Saturday, I thought I'd try cooking the greens I'd bought. As it turns out, basil isn't much use on its own. You add it to other things. But not, I'm told, to artichokes and courgettes and mince. I didn't really get the best combination apparently. So the man from downstairs tells me. He came up to bring me my post and to check my drawers. He said he'd heard from the last girl in here that they were a bit sticky, especially the one I keep my underwear in. I don't know how he knew the last girl kept her underwear in the same drawer as I keep mine in, but that's the sticky one he said. Took him all day to sort it out, I hadn't even noticed it was clunky but he certainly seemed to hear it.
And so to Sunday. This morning I tried to go back to St Anthony's but that didn't go so well, I don't want to talk about it. All I will say is I think stoning was harsh in the middle ages, and it's harsh now. I've spent all day trying to atone myself. I self-flagellated and everything, but the neighbours complained about the noise, and the man upstairs said I was only allowed to do that in the bathroom, but there's no space, so I just had to give up trying. I'm starting to like TV though, but Eastenders was a bit stressful for me, I don' really understand what happened cos I don't know how it ended.
Now I have to go and see where Kings Cross is on the map, I have an interview there in the morning, from an ad I answered in the paper. I hope I get it, I have all the qualities they asked for. I do have a good sense of humour, I am young female, inexperienced, willing to try new things, and I don't mind working with several people at once. Wish me luck!
Peace be with you.
posted by Betsy at 6:10 PM
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